Dying without dignity

Allan Kelleher’s new book, “A social history of dying,” suggests a disturbing outcome for most of us during our final days: we’re likely to die a gradual death in a nursing home or hospital, ravaged by multiple organ failure, pneumonia or dementia, and the expense of intensive care. Our traditional notions of dying – going quickly and peacefully at home, surrounded by friends and family – are artifacts of history. The problem is this: we’re getting older but we’re not thinking about how to deal with the consequences of dying gradually and alone.

In spite of all the talk of health-care reform, the way we care for the dying rarely surfaces unless the media gives them celebrity status. Perhaps that’s because neither the public nor most policy makers seem to realize how the manner of dying has changed in recent years.

High-tech medicine reduces the risks of sudden death. But too often it prolongs and dehumanizes dying, preserving life at all costs but not the person, such as the 35,000 Americans living in a persistent vegetative state.

Most of us would prefer to die at home among friends and family, with pain treated aggressively – but it won’t happen unless we start thinking about the process differently, more compassionately.

Read Kelleher’s book; then read Stephen Kiernan’s, “Last rights; rescuing the end of life from the medical system,” to learn how to we might avoid dying without dignity.